so, if you're a princess...what is HE?

          Spring boarding off my last post on being princesses under God - I was inspired to share a little more of my heart on the subject. I loved reading so many wise, thoughtful comments, tweets, and e-mails in response to the post. My heart is to encourage and to simply remind women of their worth in the Lord. But, I also want to make sure you all understand where I'm coming from in saying we are princesses and should act like ladies, waiting for the kind of men who will treat us with honor and respect. I know that many of you get where I'm coming from on this, as you know me well. But for those who don't and for new readers, I just want to make sure y'all know - I also believe this:  

the door certainly swings both ways.

   Just as women should wait for a quality man who will treat them like a princess - I believe women should also treat men, and especially their husbands, with honor, respect and dignity as well. Roles are different and it may look different practically. But I believe men deserve to be treated with just as much care, respect, and honor as women! 

   As I've thought about this subject the last few days, I have been reminded of how important it is to cherish our relationships, to put others first, and to cultivate a heart of selflessness and service. Whether you're male or female, married or single - we are all called to love others and put them first - 

"Jesus replied, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 
Love your neighbor as yourself." -Matthew 22:37-38
      If we as ladies wait for and expect men to be leaders, to be gentle, kind, thoughtful, and caring of us - we must also ask, how can we love, honor, respect, and care for them? I want to not only marry a man of character, but I want to be a woman of character. I've been thinking about how I can do this; how I can practically take steps toward being a woman, and possibly someday a wife, of character (Proverbs 31 is a wonderful place to start, of course!) But since I'm not yet married, I really don't have lots of wisdom or experience on this topic at all. So, I decided to ask the best resource I know - my amazing mom! Not only is she the wisest, most godly woman I know - she has been married for 29+ years. Her wisdom, experience, and advice are far beyond anything I could share. She sweetly answered some of my questions and I would like to share her answers with you today. 

    If you're single, may you be encouraged to start cultivating these qualities and store them away in your heart for the future marriage the Lord may provide for you someday. If you're married, may her words be gems of advice that you can practice today! 

{this is by no means an extensive "teaching" on all the points of Proverbs 31 or being a godly wife. it's simply a few thoughts on how to practically respect, love and care for the man in your life} 


Q: After 29 years of marriage, what advice can you share on practically showing your husband love and respect? 


  • From the very beginning, go on dates - and set aside time to be together. Go for weekend getaways when possible -especially important when you have young children. Find someone you trust to take care of your kids. It's very important to spend quality time with and focus completely on him and not the kids - not on family stuff or work. Focus on your relationship during these times! Even though you may be a career woman and/or a mom, it is very important you remember you are also his woman - there is a special, intimate relationship that just the two of you share. 
  • He's your #1 guy! Make sure he knows that in your eyes he is the most handsome, capable, amazing, wise guy in the world! Do this through words and actions. 
  • Always be on the lookout for all of his best qualities - the things he is good at and has potential to grow in. And nurture these things.
  • Bill Cosby once said that mothers are readily willing to stay up all night and care for a sick child no matter how tired they are - and that they should be willing to nurture their relationship with their husband with that same devotion. ;)
  • It's important to compliment and verbally affirm your husband in front of other people.
  • Keep your eyes on him alone and all your compliments for him alone - not for celebrities or the latest Hollywood heartthrob. 
  • Try to enjoy with him the things he loves to do. Even if you may not naturally be inclined to go fishing, do it for him! 
  • Daily, practice faithfulness, patience and forgiveness - never give up on these.

Q: What advice would you give young women who are unmarried on how to practice respecting and caring for the men in their lives - whether that be dads, brothers, friends or boyfriends? 

A: Don't put men down. Men are so often belittled in the media and by women. Generally build then up - finding their good qualities. Also, observe the men in your life whom you respect, and learn learn learn! Talk with married women about what they have learned. 

Q: Any tips on how to cultivate a servant's heart and practically serve your husband? 

A: Serving him is best done when doing things that truly help him, give him enjoyment, and make his life better - inspired by a desire to give and serve as a free gift - not to manipulate or get him to do something for you. 


Thanks, mom! Isn't she amazing? Be sure to check out her new blog, Coming Up Snapdragons - she has so much wisdom to offer through all her experience being a pastor's wife, homeschooling mother, a fabulous cook, a very green-thumbed gardener, and most importantly - a woman of God. 

    Please share with me in the comments below - how do you respect, love, honor, and care for your man practically? Married ladies - would love especially to hear your wisdom! And singles - share how you practice this in dating and everyday relationships with guys. I'll choose some comments to share in an upcoming post :)

  My prayer is that we ladies don't selfishly desire
 to simply be served and loved on,
but that we are more concerned with
 giving, serving and loving those in our lives.

I'm so thankful for you, my sweet readers.
Keep on shining and being sweet.


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