Farewell to 2020 — a year full of bravery, brokenness, and beauty… and yet, through it all, He never left us…..

My heart is, and always was, to be a homemaker, and while of course “things” do not make a home,

adding cozy touches here and there are just oh so happy and joy-sparking to the soul!

I am happy and honored to share a special lady and her words with you today. Elaini Garfield is one of my dearest “Internet friends” - she is a woman of grace, kindness, timely words, closeness with our Jesus, and a strength of spirit built by hard-earned endurance through pain, and a steadfast joy, through it all. I asked her to share her beautiful heart today on the topic of waiting, of singleness and waiting

“Many of the most deeply spiritual moments of my life haven't happened just in my mind or in my soul. They happened while holding my son in the middle of the night, or watching the water break along the shore, or around my table, watching the people I love feel nourished in all sorts of ways.” - Shauna Niequist ✨ ⁣

In these crazy days, shopping online is so helpful, especially if you have Amazon Prime. I’ve loved lately seeing friends online post what their favorite online items are! So, for fun, I finally made an Amazon Shop “storefront” — a place to share all my Amazon favorites with you!

I know things heavy in our world right now and our hearts may feel overwhelmed by these things, as well as other burdens we are carrying. I felt led to share this playlist with you all, it’s a handful of my favorite go-to songs when I need a little reminder of peace and a pause to worship — I hope it inspires PEACE in your hearts and minds. Whether swimming through the the rocky seas of anxiety today or resting on the shore, may you feel His peace and be reminded of truth and hope.

My first year as a brand new mom, the #1 most common comment/question (in “real life” and online) I received went something like these: “Girl, you look so great for just having a baby!” “Way to bounce back!” “Can you please tell me how you dropped baby weight so fast? Diet tips? Exercise routines? What do you eat?” I’d smile and not really reply to the usually well-meaning narrative. It didn’t offend me, I knew the hearts behind the words really were good

You are seen. In the silence, in the darkness, in the waiting. In the pain. When you open another pretty white envelope and read the words “you’re invited to the wedding of....” and your heart just sinks with loneliness. You are seen. When you see a pregnancy announcement pop up on your feed and an actual dagger pierces somewhere very deep in your soul. You are seen. When you see a happy family of three stroll by hand in hand, as you shoulder single mothering alone. You are seen. When you put on a smile to hide the dark depression caving in on you. You’re seen. 

Some thoughts on my heart tonight: 💕 Like many of you, I often choose a “word for year.” As I’ve thought & prayed these last weeks over the dawn of 2020, God unexpectedly put a word on my heart. On the last day of 2019, Daniel performed at an event in Santa Barbara, & so the two of us gratefully stayed overnight in that magical place! On January 1st, we found a stretch of beach & took a walk up the coast, the sun setting pink all around us. …

Even here in the fear. Even here. In the dark, In the pain. When your heart is broken and your dreams fall apart. When you’re fighting so hard. How long can I go?  Even here you are held

It is HERE, my friends! I have been asked by some of you many times over the last few years to create a list of my all-time favorite Hallmark Christmas movies and I’ve finally done it!

This last week in So Cal, it’s been unseasonably rainy and snowy in the mountains. My parent’s got a downpour of snow and we spent yesterday playing in it, and even got to take our Christmas pictures there!

Here it is, my sweet friends! My first 2019 Gift Guide! I hope it helps you shop for the little ones in your life and inspires you as you prepare to give gifts this Christmas season.

As I made this guide, Weston sat beside me most of the time and helped me pick out these toys — so, they are truly toddler-chosen and approved! haha!

Fall is here, Winter is upon us, and even though it doesn’t get that cold here in So Cal, your girl loves her cozy!! I’m all about the concept of “Hygge” — cozy and comfy has been the name of my game since Day One, and the cooler months and holidays are perfect for my cuddle-up-with-hot-cocoa loving heart. So, for fun, I thought I’d share some of my cozy favorites with you today!

Last week, we spent a few days at my favorite lake and I scribbled these things into my journal as I asked the Lord, “What do you have on your heart for my readers this season?” ♥️⁣ ⁣

Motherhood is: joy and pain, mingled together in a mess of marvelous. It is heart-wrenching and holy. It is the happiest you’ve ever been. It is pure exhaustion. It is knowing, off the top of your head, what is on his will-eat list right now. It is keeping track of shoe sizes. It is your heart walking around this world outside of your body... forever. It is Goldfish crackers and Cheerios always on the van floor. It is putting them to bed with a sigh of relief and immediately missing them (so you end up scrolling through pictures of them on your phone😆) It is being the one who gets to see, enjoy, and remember all of somebody’s “firsts.”

One of my favorite things to eat and make is a Charcuterie Board! My parents make them every holiday season, all my life, and since becoming a mom, I’ve been making these up for us on a weekly basis — who knew how easy and fun it could be to make a cheese board! Daniel often works weird hours (#musicianwifelife ;) so, I try to have things on hand that we can pull out of the fridge at any hour and make a healthy, filling snack or quick, possibly on-the-go meal. This fits the bill, AND, as Weston gets older (and pickier haha) I’ve found it’s a fun and easy thing to feed a toddler, too!

There I stood before two Renoir paintings, weeping softly. Two summers ago, we spent a week in Paris. Little did anyone really know, I was in the thick of Postpartum PTSD, suffering silently and trying desperately to muscle my way through extreme PTSD symptoms which also led to anxiety and depression, pretending I was okay. Looking back over my journey before I asked for help, I see glimmers of healing, “patches of Godlight”, moments and days and places and conversations and words I read and songs I heard and meals I ate and people I encountered that brought healing to my hurting heart and reeling brain. Starting therapy a year ago this month is the biggest game changer in ….
⁣

♡ We visited a pumpkin patch today. As I walked with my boys through dozens of little pie pumpkins & the big Cinderella ones & the classic orange ones, I thought about last October. One year ago this month, I asked for help after two years of silently denying & desperately fighting through a battle with Postpartum PTSD. On a ride at a pumpkin patch with my brave boy in October of 2018, I had the worst panic attack of my life & it didn’t stopped for almost 24 hours. It sounds funny, that’s what triggered it. A pumpkin patch. My last straw. The place I came undone. I realized I couldn’t fight it alone in my mind anymore, I had to tell my man and my closest ones how I really felt. I called my doctor, I went straight to a counselor, I started medicine, that day. I, finally, collapsed in my spirit — exhausted from the fight. I waved a white flag....”Help.” It was hard & peace-bringing to my soul, the catalyst for the Lord to heal my deepest wounds.⁣⁣

Happy Monday, my sisters!

This verse is on my heart today and it’s been floating around in my mind all weekend, so I felt led to create this little printable for you to screenshot, print, save to your computer or phone or Pinterest board and be reminded: you are held, you are loved, you are seen, you are hemmed in — behind and before — by our good, good God.

Last week, I shared on Instagram Stories about my DIY hair and face masks, and many of you said you’d like to hear more about them! I love to know what other gals swear by for their hair and skin — especially if it’s DIY and natural! It’s just so fun, empowering, simple, easy, and enjoyable to spend time mixing up potions that make us feel pampered, healed, and cared for. Anyone who knows me well knows I am all about that nighttime bath life ;) So, a hair and face mask goes along with a bath perfectly!