i got a letter the other day.. from me.

It was really the worst night ever. Like, THE worst night ever. I was a mess of tears and I woke up with what I call a "crying hangover" - no, not due to too many drinks.... but too many tears. (Not sharing this to make y'all feel bad for me, just being really honest. And yes, I'm okay. Life just became too much, some rough stuff happened, and I was just weary. Dramatic is the side I tend to, and sometimes a good cry is just what I need... can I get an amen sisters?) I dragged myself from bed, and oh the sight I beheld in the bathroom mirror. Bags under my eyes, white as a sheet face, and my hair. Oh my hair. Something more akin to a rat's nest than hair, piled on the top of my head. Hawwwt mess, people. Really, as hot as hot messes come. With one eye open, I poured my hazelnut coffee (by the way, the best coffee ever...remind me to tell you about it later) with soy milk and a little sugar in the raw, and somehow found the couch. Flipped open my laptop and checked my email, all without thinking. Mechanically, I sifted through 30 new emails.. organized them into folders...(my hair isn't the only hot mess around here.. my Inbox is even worse!) then onto the junk mail. Highlighted 25 of 'em, all trash. But then something caught my eye.
It was from "Future Me.Org" and the title read, "A letter from March 5th, 2012." 
Hmmmm, I thought. What is that?? 
I opened it up, my eyes scanning the words. It was a letter. A weird feeling came over me, a feeling of familiarity. I've seen this before.... and suddenly, I remembered as I read. 
It began, 

Dear FutureMe....

It was a letter from ME. From one year ago that morning. 

Tears sprang into my tired eyes, flowing down my cheeks, onto the keyboard.

You see, on March 5, 2012, I found a website called FutureMe.org - a creative little website where you can write a letter to yourself, enter your e-mail address, and set the letter to send to you... on any day you wish. A year later, a month, six months. Ten years. It's really a fun, remarkable idea. I wrote a letter to me, choosing the one year time mark. And then I completely forgot about it... life got crazy, and 2012 played out and ended.

The things I wrote are for me to see, they're secret - some things, only God knows. I wrote how I felt that very morning, my fears, my sorrows, the little disappointments... and the big ones. The strong faith, the blessings, the pain, the hopes - the dreams. I wrote a list of hopes. That when the letter found me, 365 days later, those hopes just might have come true. 

Ending the letter, I wrote, 

i hope things come full circle for you.
i hope you are healthier.
i hope you are stronger.
i hope you say "no" more often.
i hope you dance when there's rain.
and i hope that the sun shines and it's a beautiful day.
i hope you love jesus more than you did on march 5, 2012.
cause he loves you.
Suddenly, my heart filled with peace. Not because I got all sentimental over a cool idea come to pass - but because I realized something: when I wrote the letter, I had no idea what my life would look like now, in 2013. The joys that would come, the sorrows. I penned it blind - looking into an unknown future. But you know what? Someone knew that a year from that day, I would need that letter. Someone knew that the night before I opened my Inbox and saw the unexpected letter, I had cried and cried and cried. Someone knew I needed to be reminded of hope. And that someone? He's the Lord. God knew. Because He cares. He knows the number of hairs on our heads! And He deeply, intimately cares for each one of us - our needs, our hopes, our fears. He sees our past, our present... and our future. The letter was such a sweet reminder to me - that in the messiness of life, the heartache and pain - His eye really is on the sparrow. And I know He watches me. Oh how sweet that is.
Friend, you should do it too. Hand write it with your favorite pen, stationary and washi tape. Or use the website I did. Write your heart, write a prayer for your one year post self. You never know where the letter will find you. And how you might need it, in whatever you are walking through a year from today.
At the bottom of the letter, I wrote this: 
Remember - you don't know what your future holds,
but you know WHO holds your future.
Do it. It might surprise you and make you smile.
It did for me.. like woah.
Love you all so. And so does He.
//Outfit Stats// 

Chambray Top: Boutique in LA
Mint Dress: Target 
Shoes: Target 
Bracelets: Forever 21
Watch: Michael Kors
Necklaces: Forever 21 (gem) & Love Culture (cross)